Why Only “Y”(Female Foeticide)

(Poem by a foetus in her mother’s Womb)

I didn’t want an X,

was craving for a Y;

as I want to live outside

and now, I just might die.

 

They say they don’t differentiate,

a cold-blooded lie;

They say they would be happy,

huh! only if they sincerely try.

 

They will either leave me alone,

in a space sparsely prone;

or would poke in a pin,

as if my birth would be a deadly sin.

 

 

Hey, dad!

I am yours, don’t blow me away;

I would be better than a son,

in any way you say.

 

Hey, granny!

Don’t you want to

comb my hair and oil;

and I would be a budding plant,

with you as my soil.

 

Everybody loves their Mom,

and thanks her for everything they get;

l could also be a Mom one day,

but only if they let.

 

If money is the reason you hesitate,

I would find myself a selfless groom;
or would work to feed your 
appetites.

either by books or broom.

 

Hey, God!

If I come back to you again,

please make me a bee;

as they truly understand,

the privilege of having a ‘she’.

 

 

And please, I request you not to give,

anyone a girl;

Until they realize their mistake,

that they have neglected a pearl.

 

A lady was in the operation theatre; she was expecting. Her family members were waiting outside, panicking with each stroke of the clock. As soon as the nurse came out, the entire family went into despair. As the news, which had come out, was nothing less than a sort of despair for the family.

 

No! No!

You are guessing it wrong. Both the mother and her child have made safely through the operation, but it was the child that has changed the winds of emotions.

 

“It’s a Girl,” the nurse said.

 

And mother’s life was never the same.She had to hear a lot of cursing from her mother in law to start with, followed by a river of sarcasms, abuses, belittling in front of others and an endless torture until she delivered a ‘Boy’ in her next delivery.

 

This was the scene till 1980’s. But due to the increasing advancement in Medical science, and the increasing use of Foetal Sex Determination, and Sex-Selective Abortions coming into the picture, the safe period (gestation) for the girl foetus observed a decline. And Guess what? Till 1991, it almost became a 1000 crore market in the medical profession. In India, which is highly a patriarchal society, where the preference was always a son, this technology became a boon for many. And, it’s sad that the situation is still the same in some parts of our country.

 

If you are thinking why such a ridiculous partiality exists, then it would be appropriate to say that a child is no longer a God’s Gift, but an investment, where a son would bring in money in the form of earnings and a daughter would take away the savings in the form of DOWRY.

 

A girl child is termed as “PARAYA DHAN” and an obligation that God has imposed on them. Furthermore, some people went to say, that you had debts in your previous births, that’s why you are cursed with a girl. <Bloody losers.>

 

Are you seriously kidding me? What kind of hypocrisy is this?

 

They are willing to worship, Lakshmi Mata for Money,

Saraswati Mata for Knowledge,

Kali Mata for Protection Against the Evil,

Even worship cow and term it as GAI Mata,

But, they curse when they get a girl child.

“”Slow Claps for such people””

 

Do they think, these all Goddesses would bless them after such a behaviour? I have my doubts on this.

 

Girl, who has always been treated as the second-sex, is considered like a thing which is not only incomplete, but not beneficial at all. Oh yeah, Money!!! It’s always about the money, isn’t it?

 

“I don’t want a Girl”

 But why not?

“They are expensive.”

What do you mean?

“I will raise them, nurture them, find a good groom and house for them, give dowry for them, but what will I get in return?” 

Excuse me? 

“Yeah, what’s my ROI? (return on investment)”

ROI!

Are you fucking serious?

Yes, congratulations to all of us. With huge shame and sorrow, I have to say that now everything has an ROI.

 

In 2011, around 15,000 women were the victim of Human Trafficking. And guess, where they been trafficked too? To the areas suffering from a lack of women, due to Female Foeticide. Ironical, isn’t it?

Men need women for Purpose. Let it be, to feed him when he is young, to bear him in her womb, to help him grow from a child to man, for sex and other pleasures. But when it comes to give back, he seeks a fucking ROI! Sound inhuman, but it happens.

 

When I was growing up, I heard a lot of news about women suffering from domestic violence: raped by a relative, beaten by her husband, lit up into flames by her mother in law and mistreated; and when she beseeched solace from her paternal home, most of the parents asked them to compromise.

 

Compromise beta compromise! You belongs to them now. It’s a part of our Culture,” they say.

 

Are you saying we have a culture which totally differentiate against women and at the same time worship Goddesses?

 

Well, I have also read about our culture. And as it happens in Chinese Whispers, I think our culture is going through the same problem as it’s faced in the Game, where the outline is somewhat similar but the context is open for interpretation by the receiver. Due to which, over time and time, the women have suffered. And the problem begins to precipitate when they start thinking that they are born to suffer.

 

Yes, due to repeated assertions by their closed ones and the society, many women have started to accept this thing. Especially those, who are uneducated or belong to a very poor family.

 

Now, I know you all would be wondering, why is this person stating things that we already know?

Oh yes, everybody knows the state of women in our society but still besides a few programs, some politicians bragging about empowering them, and giving them a 49 % voting thing, the scenario is still very much the same.

But why???

 

The thing is, everything mentioned above looks good on paper, a kind of start that would rekindle the fire of hope for women, but still something is missing. The most important ingredient, the salt of the dish,

 

“” Our mindset””

 

Charity always begins from home. We have to change our mindset, each one of us.

 

  • The Money Seeking Lagoons, who just raise their sons to get a handsome dowry, get a life. If you just want money, buy a piece of land instead. It’s in Fashion nowadays.
  • The Parents who raise their girls as an obligation or debt, please love them more. They indeed love you more than her brother ever would.
  • The guys, who treat women as an instrument of pleasure, “what goes around definitely comes around”, they aren’t here for your entertainment.
  • And to some women who spoil the name of other women (just like a bad fish in pond), your sisters are getting hurt. At least stop doing that for their sake.

 

Guys, after few years, we won’t be around but our practises and values live for ever. We should start doing our bit, so that at least in future, a girl would be proud to be born as a girl, and we could smile from wherever we are, that our daughters, or sisters are now safe…..:)

 

 

 

 

 

It’s never too late

Its never too late

It’s never too late,

 

M I too Late,

Is the seat already taken?

Have promises to keep…

 

M I too Late,

Was waiting for this moment,

That I couldn’t sleep…

 

M I to late,

To describe what’s there to tell,

 

M I too Late,

To ring the door’s bell,

 

The door which would have taken me far,

The door which now seems beyond my par…

 

M I too late, to give it one more try,

 

M I too Late,

And it’s time for goodbye????

 

What the fuck I was thinking?? Why it didn’t strike me before, I should have been there by now, and am just bragging on shore…

 

The war that I got scared of was the one that should have been fought, and is it, too late to go now as the iron might have been wrought…

 

Well, it’s late now!!

Nothing can be done!!

I am screwed!!

 

Ahmmmm, out of the above three statements, the third one is indeed the most correct one.

 

“”You are screwed.””Screwed, not because you missed one of the most important thing, person, or, opportunity in your life, but because you have laid you weapons down. And because you have declared loud and clear, that am Late, nothing can be done, and I have lost it forever.

“” as you lost the battle in your mind”””

 

Well in some cases for instance, the death of a dear one, didn’t study for your exam and sitting in the exam hall, killed someone (well, it’s the worst of all) etc, you can say that you are late to realize. But it never means it’s the end.

As a human being, we all have the tendency of regretting about the past, (provided our present is in crisis),

Wondering about the future (well it’s a sort of hobby), blaming others for our failures (most often our Fate), and believing that nothing good is going to happen….

That’s why we are screwed.

 

 

When you think you are screwed then most certainly you are. But it’s not because of our past. But because of our present.

Right now, if you go in a little flashback, at certain point of time, you would have thought, that if I had worked more hard, my life would have been better by now. Indeed it would. But now(come to present).which is full of difficulties ,pain and agony etc.Now you think, that even if at that moment, instead of wondering that why things went wrong, you had focused on your present, your present(which was future then)would have been better.

Life is a chain guyz.Its like a stack of cards/dominoes’ placed one after other. And you we are No God. We are bound to make mistakes. Now or then, the cards would collapse. And if they fall, I know its heart breaking, but we have to start again. Period.

 

 

 

If we keep on thinking about the falling of cards, our castle would only be there in our dreams. And as far as being late is considered, nobody is ever late to make his life a living heaven. until you have your soul inside you.

You may not be able to build your castle, the way you would have wanted, but you would build something. But if you keep on whining, forget the castle, you would even miss the house, you could have made.

At certain point of time, things happen that are very far from our control, but starting again is a choice. There is no point in whining about the past, the excuses that won’t take you anywhere, and the attitude that is full of pessimism.

 

 

Who cares if the path was all uphill, who cares the pain endeavoured,the battles most, the opportunities messed up, until your present is fucking awesome…..that present is your future, if u are willing to tackle that past in your present.

Everybody at some point of time has to pass through a filter of perseverance, after which nothing else matters. But to sustain and pass through that filter, you have to forgive yourself first. Stop disparaging yourself.

 

 

 

Buddha ji said->

“”You can never change the beginning, but you can always change the end”

 

It simply states””start now”.

 

He himself was a prince. But when he realized his truth, the universal truth, he renounced everything. As he realized his destiny, and moreover he choose his destiny.

Just imagine what it would be like for a Prince to renounce everything. He dint say I am late or that I have been married, and a kid to look after… he just realized what he needs to do…and guess what…he did.

God’s fables, his plans are most inscrutable, and when they take a turning point in present is sometimes too scary…

But later in future, when you look back, all the dots connect somehow, only if you have followed your heart and lived your present.

 

 

You might have missed a turn, a job, a girl etc but remember you are still alive, and your castle is waiting out there somewhere to be built.

Present might be having its toll on you, but soon it would be past, and if you survive through it, not only you would make your life meaningful, but also a source of inspiration for others.

                                     

                                           “” the one who believes, is the one who becomes””

 

So never give up on your dreams, no matter what, accept what you can’t change, but keep moving forward. If you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, if you can’t even crawl, keep moving your hands and legs, as it would keep the flame of hope alive.

 

 

And believe in him, as you never know, which failure becomes your biggest boon in disguise.

And have faith, that it’s never too late, to realize your dreams.:):)

hey God

Hey GOD!!

 

Hey God, am sorry
I don’t come everyday
To Your home, they say
You dwell there, they say

Hey God, am sorry
I don’t donate there,
Just a soft prayer
From a heart, so sincere

Hey God, am sorry
For the evil I do,
But whatever I do,
my apologies would be true.

Am not good with Fasts.
they say, an Iconoclast is near,
Am not good in performing rituals,
they say,dont you have GOD FEAR

I do Fear,I do
but its just I Wanna Love more,
and a boat is not respecting its creator,
if its keep on licking the shore

I Believe in touching my heart,
whenever the things don’t go well,
I believe in breaking someone’s forced Fast,
instead of just ringing the Sacred Bell.

I can’t help it,
Its what I believe
I wanna love you ,
But not out of Greed

You gave me life,
You give me peace,
A Guardian indeed,
is what I need.

You are intangible,
but I can feel you everywhere,
In GF’s smile, Nature’s Style,
And Mom’s Anguish Stare.

They are very smart,
Quite an entrepreneur, I must say
For your blessings and forgiveness
JUST PAY, they say.

Perceptions I tell you,
Are we really on the right way???

Well. first of all the question, of which most of us have a self satisfying answer to,
                                                 who is God?
                                                 where is he?
                                  who made him the Supreme power? and so on…..

Well, Am not a Priest, or any seeker who has travelled and searched the depths of this.I just believe what I believe.Am not an Atheist.(well I doubt on the very existence of this word).Theist,panatheist,ahmmm well……yup that wud be fine.

An Iconoclast??
Ahmm not exactly,but sometimes my actions do fir the Oxford meaning of this word.

God to me,is someone or something,who I believe is responsible for my existence.Who gave me life,may be all the good things I ever had,strength to pass the roads less travelled by,Someone/something I can thank for everything Good(well sometimes I do forget),blame for all my miseries(never forget this part),seek for forgiveness for the sins,peace in times of distress,in every love emotion,in Miracles,Its Anger in Natural Calamities,and Divine Nature.
 Now,the main word up there is BELIEVE.
GOD is someone/something,we believe.
 If u believe in his human form,it can be Jesus,Krishna,Allah etc,
If u are agnostic ,you believe in some force or the term”UNIVERSE”,so deep so mysterious then that is God For you.
If u believe in some plant,animal,stone,river,mountain etc  then that is God For you.
 Something or anything you believe in. I remember when I had to lose Weight, I had a Picture Of Hrithik roshan.And I  worshiped him.he was God In the form of inspiration for me.
 Hehe,funny…..but its as true as the fact that our  belief has the power of making Anything/anyone as God for us.Even an Atheist(as they say) does believe in something/someone It can be nature,their own ability,their parents,their Karma ,anything.they find their God in them.
 IF you have belief or Faith,my friend you have God on your side.
And these 2 things are very powerful.Belief is a form of energy that just Accumulates and ascends. Thatswhy when you go to someplace Divine,you feel so peaceful.so bliss,as many people has a faith that God lives there. and when you believe yes he does,
                                                    
                                                                  “”HE DOES””.

Now comes the Iconoclast part.Well I am not against traditions,rituals as that’s what our culture is all about.And we indeed have a very Good culture.We are living in a land of Miracles.Well, Aliens spaceships may land in US (according to their Movies) but it’s a Fact that when anyone lost their path in life,they seek their solace here.
 But amid of Rising insecurities, fear, we have started pleasing God not through our Actions but through a manmade wonder, OUR PRECIOUS,MONEY(:P).Do this,5 liters of milk, hundreds and thousands of “Chadawa”,or God will get Angry ,you won’t get his Forgiveness etc etc. This entrepreneurs, or what they call themselves  ,”senders of God”, are such orators and are doing such a Great business.
 Recession…hahahhh .their business never see this period.They know how to work.IF everything is Good,pay for blessings and as Gratitude , otherwise for forgiveness, As simple as that.
“Dharma ko dhanda bana dia hai”
 I you are going to a place of worship,then first lighten your pockets.Candels,diyas,Agarbatti,Coconut,Milk,Oil etc and if you don’t ,you would get to hear…..
 “he would feel bad”

 What ???Seriously??would he feel bad,that his creation doesn’t spend some pieces of green paper on him, or do you think by spilling some money in “Donation Box”, you would get free from your sins, And your Safe Would Remain Full Forever??
 Well ,I don’t  think he needs our money. Mind you it’s him who has given you everything you have.
He needs our service.
Unfortunately, everyone is not fortunate enough at some part of their lives are devoid of even the basic Amenities. And do you know who is God for them??
Anyone who comes and help them. they see the shadow of God in them. They thank him and god at the very instant.
 It’s a Pathetic but true Fact,that we can spend thousands of our money and hours of our time on fun,donations in temples,Chadawas, but when it comes to help someone in need, a beggar for instance,
Are you insane,even a 10 rs note is too much.He made everyone with same hands,but still we call some people as Untouchables.

How cool is that!!
 We go to His house with clean clothes, but our souls are full of deceit ,who gives a thought to that anyway….
 Fasts!! Sacrifice of animals!! Well 2 other things that is totally overhyped and misunderstood.
Fasts are a way to gain control over your desires. But nowadays, everybody thinks,
“Fast a day, and blessings will be your way”. looks like a scheme more than a ritual.
Hehe,Food is in your mind ,the whole day.Constantly ,blaming your mother for forcing it upon you, visualizing yourself eating food, just waiting for the day to get over, so that you can eat ,Wont serve the purpose.
The idea behind was to Control,not to force or crush due to some scheme you worked out with him(nice wife,promotion etc) or due to force from parents.And the irony is they do works sometimes.Not because God is happy of what you did but because he loves you,without any scheme,without any
Greed,but just one simple thing,
 “””love him back””He is very rich,he doesn’t need your money,sacrifice of animals,carring perfunctory rituals instead help those who are not able to receive his help at this moment.Well I am no one to say that mending your ways like this are going to help the same way your Chadawa might have worked.But when you do this,their smile would make your day.
And it’s a well proven fact,
”what you sow is what you reap” Its our belief that makes God possible in our lives,but when we mix it with love and service,then he becomes visible in our Actions.he is amorphous,and is present everywhere.
From the tip of leaf to an universe so deep,he is everywhere.
 Just believe,and love him for his love not out of fear…
 God bless you all………….:)

Suffocation

suffocation, a word we usually associate with air.
“”hey ,open the windows ! am suffocating out here””

“”I cant learn to swim,as i feel suffocated when i see water””

but seldom do we hear,that a person is expressing his state of mind with the term

                              “”being suffocated””

No matter how sexy the beach is,you wont enjoy if water makes u feel suffocated.

what exactly is this suffocation then?

well,according to me it doesn’t mean mere absence of anything but a craving for something so badly,that everything else comes second to it.

in normal cases its the air we crave for.whose presence is never felt until we need it desperately .
But when a person describes his state as “being suffocated” then it simply means that something is burning a hole in his soul.

it is something that is missing from his life,and he cant help it or is not able to fill that space by somthing else.

it doesnt matter where he is living,how beautiful is his surroundings,no matter how much money/comfort he has.everything becomes second when it comes to that thing.

but the worst thing happens, when you crave for somthing anonymous.! wtf??

what the fuck is that?? how can you crave for somthing you even dont know??and forget craving, whats the way of getting it,when u even dont know what the thing is.

when you are drowning ,you know that all you need is air.,,so you try and try to get some until you die,but what to do when you dont know?

and you keep on saying ““i know i cant live like this.what should i doas i dont know where to go,what to do??”

well i have learnt that in that case ,just go with your instincts,as sometimes  no one else can guide you,and you yourself have to pass through.

just assume your life to be earth and others as aleins,and while you are drowning they are screaming “” go for food go for food”,then would it be ryt to do so.

and may be even you dont know that all you need is air ,bt still wont you regret after dying ,that why the hell i listen to someone else.

as i think
 that go find your path and the path will find you,
but not before the time which grinds you.
your scream of help may go in vain,u may feel alone
crying in pain,
but the day would come,after that longest night,
in which you wud like to quit and say 
” i dont wanna fight”
but never u dare,
even if u have to bare all,
your wings will untie themselves ,
and not let you fall.

but all that needs is some steps of faith,
and you will find your path before your last breath.

and that last breath wud be taken in peace,
and rest of your life will be nothing in front of this life’s piece.🙂

Pick or fall

pick oh dear pick!!!
u have been given the chance,
don’t cry as it was suppose to happen,
as u haven’t pick it,
when u had a glance.

the stone that matters,
the one for u,
may b its not glittering now,
but would when touched by u.

the hallucinations around,
 wont let u choose easily,
 would glitter and appear
more precious now

but for u it would be nothing
but a piece of stone,
better don’t choose,
or one day it would
make u feel alone.

and then u wish to fall back,
and have the stone,
that should have been  picked
in the last chance,
but u chose something else,
as it looked better in a careless glance.

its better  late than never ,
sometimes fall is also a favor,
done to let u pick,
the right stone,,

as its a different feel to fight,,

when u know your stone wont leave u alone……

have you been fallen lately????

not for a girl but from a height,after which u might be thinking that everything is lost etc etc etc,but my dear friend as BUDDHA  had said

“” no matter how hard the past is,you can always have a new begin”

sometimes somethings happen just to take you at the right place at right time and we often don’t realize the importance of that step at that very moment.
but after a few years when all your stars get align (as other people say when you get success),you would say
“” thank  you god for that fall””

i know its better said than done,but give it a try..
stand again fight again and just go by your instinct s someone has said,,,

deep inside you somebody knows what will be good for you,just believe have faith
and one thing more,

Forgiving is a very good habit,and charity begins at home,so instead of blaming others who have pushed you of the edge, do give yourself at least one chance,one risk as you only have one life to do it all….

as after some years down the line,when you teach your child something on dreams and will to do big in life,be ready for the question
“” tell me about your dreams and life??””
and believe me that silence would make you feel like,why the hell i haven’t taken the chance when i had the time. and its said its never too late but sometimes it is actually to late…

and those who would say “what about security”,”what about conventional path”, den ya you are right but there is no security brother as if an uncertainty has to happen then it can happen at any time anywhere even to the most secured person,so whats the point.

“”just believe in yourself and have faith as everything indeed happens for a reason,its just that you have to make that reason happen”…….

and know this thing that the first step towards anything big in this life is FAITH,,,
have it:):):) in yourself and in that supreme power:)

tears

have u cried lately?????
crying!!! tears!!

 as soon as the doctors open the doors and let us enter this beautiful world the first ever emotion experienced by us is “crying”.
and its funny that it does make everyone happy.

later in life we come across a lot of things and believe it or not,somtimes tears are the best way to know what a person is feeling.

is the feeling deep or not and is its coming straight from the heart or not ,(
unless they are crocodile’s tears).

so are tears a symbol of only pain and sorrow???

hmmm to many of us they are.whenevr we see a person crying the first thing that comes to our mind is whats wrong??why is he upset.???
but thats not the case according to me.

i think like every part of our body which has someway or the other to express our emotions like :-
punching the air,orlaying down lifelessly( hands),
laughing out loud or abusing (mouth)
salvating tonque on seeing somthing delicious and various activities in our reproductive organs to express desires etc

the same way  our eyes have tears to say it all.



“”tears do come with joy, and do come when u r sad,
do come when u need someone
and do come when u get somthing that
u never had.””

evryone laugh when they get success,punch the air when it comes after too much struggle,abuses ,scream when they fight against the odds and win,,but when ur dreams come true doing anything seems to be worthless but to be in that moment.
feel the moment,and just let tears come out.

i dont remember the times i have cried because of pain,bruises,or due to some other sorrow,but i do rember the times i cried when either the reasons were unknown or due to an extreme feeling of ecstasy.

i just didnt realize that i was crying at that moments,its the feel of tears on my cheek that made me realize that i was crying.
when it happen for the first tym when i was 8(when my mom came out of deadly disease alive),i just thought why the hell i was crying as in school we were taught that we are supposed to smile when we are happy and cry only when we are sad.

sad????? no way in this world.i had my mom back u cant compare that feel with anything less than perfect in this world and still all i had was tears in my eyes, and the joy that i was experiencing was out of this world.

wooooooooooo!!!!!!

when i grew a little older and again i had a similar experince of tears that day i realized that tears just not symbolizes sadness but sonthing that is true,very true.

u can fake some1 with ur smile easily but its very hard to hold tears when they come self invited.

now i would like to tell you about one more category of tears which combines everything in it…
“”tears with silence””

this tears are the most inscrutable ones as i think they come straight from the heart.not because u are screaming of pain due to some health issue,or due to small small issues we face in our daily life.

they simply comes when something truly touches our heart ,either in a good or bad way.

and those emotions touches us so deeply,,that i think tears become the best way to express them.

why holding them back?????

Man>!!! dont hold them back.its not a advice but a request.let them come out.if u r feeling bad den it will make u lighter and if u feeling happy den u wud cherish those drops and wud wait for them to come again in ur life.

its funny isnt it???
in schools we learn something else but the school of life teaches us everything on its own terms.
 not only they help us releasing our emotions but sometimes they also let us know the true worth of something/someone in our life.

they might not able to analyse things rationally but when it comes to emotions they are the best. u might be able to analyze whats bettr for u and what wud complete your life,,but certainly the things whithout which u r incomplete are identified easily by our eyes.

u wont have tears while fantasizing Megan fox ,but u wud have if the girl whom u love the most is holding ur hand and lying her head on ur shoulders 😉

its a fact that our heart never uses our brain to think emotionally.it has a thinking mechanism of its own,,and u cant judge it or argue it, just go with it and feel it.

may be u would get to know somthing that even our brain wasnt able to analyze with all the rational power and analyzing each and every prospect.

hehe ,too much on tears isnt it.but its true .
whenever someone ask me ,that when do anyone realizes that something/someone is worth risking or giving everything u have???
then i just say that close ur eyes and just think of things u r confused with..and choose not the one that makes u think but choose tht one tht makes u blink.may be that thing would be just for a phase,,but that phase wont be easy to rephrase again in ur life.

we have 1 life,and sooner or later we wud find many things that could complete us but certain pieces are those unique ones around which our whole life surrounds ,

“”dont loose them””

as u would have many moments in which u wud laugh like hell,and u wud have many a people to support u,,but when u get those tears of silence,,due somthing/someone lost just because u dint give it a try… u just have urself to blame and an endless universe to stare and search for the reasons that made u do so.

its not always that u would get each and everything that means so so much,,but all what matters is that u gave it a try and those tears dint go in vain.

so

if there is a thing that makes u cry everytime u think i wont be doing  this den dont leave it,,postpone it if its  a critical time but do it atleast once b4 u die.,

if there is a person that makes u cry everytime u think of going away from them,then do tell them their importance as the burden of not expressing would be more than not having them anyway.

and believe me on this, u wud feel immense happiness,not only when u get the desirable result but also in giving it a try,even if the results arnt in ur favour,u wont b at a total loss.

everyone says that we came crying and wud try to leave laughing,,but i crsly think that the feel of doing evrything that i can( if i could )wud make my  eyes wet again.

:):):):)

No love lost no love found

May be it wasn’t there,
or was it an illusion??
the need of some1 to understand,
to be there always,havent been found,
but in midst of finding,i lost
not the one never been found,
but the one never being respected,my heart.”

ok in the past posts,i have talked about the presence of love in life and its essence,but today its time to tell  about its absence.

love is the most powerful drug,ever invented by our heart,that even a little denial of it has its repercurssions.may be it was the master who invented it,gave it shelter to live ,nurture it,but once its gone ,its need can shatter that house
 that once imagined to live happily everafter.

its neccessary more than anything we could imagine.,more fatal than we could ever think,but still we love to have it in our life.

we always hear from starting that
“” food ,clothes and shelter “are the basic neccessities of our life,if u have all the three that means your living,whereas i think its just means u have the resources which would keep u alive.

living a life doesnt mean just having the resources.a robot,having batteries,wires,2 hands ,2 legs,1 head etc etc is not called a living soul,but a mechanical soul.and the thing which separate us from a robo is love and our ability to feel it,,,

so just imagine ,the life without love…..we came alone and wud go the same way, but in between we just want sombody to stay,,
to say goodnight when we lay,
and to hold ourself in periods of disarray.

ya ya i know,many of us at some point of time have said that “”we  dont need love“”, “” we are bettr alone””,blah blah blah,,,,,,,,,but believe me you havnt seen anything or anyone without love thats why u r saying those lines…..

i have seen few people is search of love,and their desperation to be the centre of attaraction in atleast someones eyes thereby i know its importance and would like to sharewith you their experiences.

first person:

“i rome all alone in the streets whole day,
wearing a torn shirt,with a lot to say,
but when i get no ears,,
all i do is abuse,
breaking their windows,
creating drama in front of their house,
but no body stands,,
oh ya why the fuck they would,,
for them i am just a loser,,
a mental moron ,who should stay,
as far from them as he could.

i talk insensibly,as silence kills me from inside
wherever i go,everyones moves to other side,

neither do i or love found me,i think ya love is literally blind.

2 person

is an old uncle ,who lived across the street.i knew him from childhood.he was a nice,wise and shy guy who doesnt talk much to people.ha had no wife but a son,as the time went pass by he started to spent more of his time in the park,and can be  seen talking to aneone who pass him by.
his son used to shout on him but he didnt care.

the desperation of sharing himself with someone can be easily seen from his eyes. it was like he was hungry for the love and time of his son but when his son was busy elsewhere,i think he just lost himself.

i heard tht his son was yelling,”are u mad??? why do u share about our home problems outside???””
and i was like,people have problem with everything and have the reason to blame everyone but themselves.

he is not mad,just searching someone to lend him ears,lend his heart to him,as its all what he wants.may be you have given him all the luxuries of life, but even a glass made of gold cannot reduce ur thirst untill is filled water.that day i realized the true importance of love.

his son realized his mistake,but ………….i think he got a little late..

so i think its true…
“only a thirsty person knows the value of water,
and only a deaf knows the value,of hearing a  sound,
and no one cud ever match the desperation.
 of a blind person to see…

the same goes for love,
and its more neccesaary then its sounds,
and only those knows how hard could life be,
for whome there was
no love lost, so no love found”.

ps.: dont deny it if u have it,as its one of the essence of life,and whenever u see som1 known behaving absurd,then may be its not the person but his heart which is going bizzark.

heart not being loved is like fish without water….

Confession

“”hey!! we need to talk””
“” hey!! i wanna tell u somthing””
“hi>!! there is somthing u should knw”

whenever someone pop these words,a thousand things run through our brain.
is he proposing me???
now what????
is she breaking up with me??
oh shit,,he knows  what i did!!
 and a thousand questions like that come and go.and what happens next???

 inner thoughts break their silence in the form of confession!
which could be a healthy one,disaterous one or it could either break you from inside.

but what is a confession??? and does it really required???
well a confession is a way of giving ur thoughts,ur feelings,somthing that hurt you or somthing that made you feel on top of the word at some point of time ,a channel of communication.

so that the person(whomesoever it may concern) get to know what you havnt told them yet and the  same very thing,which  was eating you slowly and slowly.

As far as requirement is concerned i feel that somtimes heart is so small for such things to be kept inside.
but if then also u want it keep it,and wait for ur heart to burst oneday without any prior notice,
                                                                 ur wish!!!

is it easy????
not at all…not in this world i guess..
but why????

why is it difficult to express what you truly feel??
why is it not possible for us to step forward and admit our mistakes??
why we keep running from the things that our heart screams at us to do???
 even when we know that it is spoiling our relations or is killing the foundation of any relation ,, trust…

are we scared?????
if yes then what from???/

yes ,we are.
we are scared,that things wont remain as they are.
we live in a fear of getting rejected,insulted,blattered,or  lonely….
we think that nobody can understand us but us.and in midst of all the fear we keep things to our self.

but as a parasite can never benifit its host,similarly these feelings which are never spoken eats u from inside,somtimes in an unrepairable way.

and the things which u think wont remain the same ,arnt the ones which were there when u wer in a pure relation with that person.whatever you do ,that thing would always comes in between,(untill you accept it) and would leave a knot in your so called “”good relation”” which you fear would break..

if somthing is so weak that a truth can break it,shatter it so let it be……..
it was never meant to be and the most important thing–
the relation was not mutual…..

only you were enjoying both the ups and down of that relation,the counterpart was just happy in the ups………..and not concerned about the downs.

cant you just accept it and move on????
hmm yup u can,but if the other person is a non living thing.because as u have certain  things to confess,he/she also might have a few.
you move on ,they also do and things which should have been told are kept at the darkest corners of your hearts.

its funny, but its true…
somtimes we dont even know the other side of the coin as seen by the person to whome we are confessing.
somtimes after confessing we get to know that we wer not the only person who is living with a lot lieng inside.

in midst of all the foolish talks,we remember to say all things that makes us laugh,somthings which are insensible and are just for fun,but forget the ones which could really make a diffrence.

it not only makes you light,but also makes the other person know that whatever you have done,no matter how bad it was,havnt stopped u from being honest to him/her.

but mind it,,after confession,have patience.,,
you have done your bit,,
dont expect anething now,just wait……

as its said if somthing meant to be,it will be..

and believe me on this…if confessions,which are said to be relation destroyer,can result in a relation that is more beautiful,more stronger and more from the heart.

they untie ur thoughts,makes u feel free to enjoy the resonance with ur self atleast.
it may seem for sometime that why???
why the hell i have done that???
but afters somtime it feels  like………

“if it was the last time we talked
i m glad i was true
may be what i did wasnt called for
but i dint do it to hurt u
may b the things wont remain the same
but now it wont get worse for me
i did what i had to….
atleast now i would be me,
as earlier was feeling restricted,
the guilt ,the hope ,confusion or whatever it was..,,””

so i think feel free to say what u really want, as who knows what happens next…
just feel ur heart and if it say so do so……………..:D:D:D

Relationship

When I had no place to stay,
Someone lent her womb to lay;
When I had no one to share,
Someone lent me their ears;
When I was completely shattered or emotionally battered,
Someone smiled and took the pain away.

Relation!!!!! One of the biggest drug of our life!
Wheather we admit it or not.

We have loads of work at our disposal, loads of tensions, thousands of things that we have dreamed of and many emotions that are either striving or relieved. But do we ever give ourselves a chance to understand the depth of any relation? Most of the times we don’t.

What is a relation?
A relation is a bond, a thread, a feel that can be easily misconstrued in the midst of all the fakeness that surrounds us, but, no matter what, we always know deep inside that we share something intangible; something that is so abstract that even we dont know  and somtimes say what the hell it is………….>!!1
its kind of funny but i think when god made the whole world he made some people in sets and dispersed the members of the set randomly.so whenever we come across someone from our own set we feel like……..

“”tera mujhse hai pehle ka nata koi,yu hi nahi dil lubhata koi”” heheh……..:D:D

but the one thing i have realized that we do wrong is “naming them”……..
he is my best frnd,he is just a time pass frnd,she is my girl frnd ,she is just a frnd……..i just have respect for him,,i dont care “” marrrrrja kahi ja ke””” and all,,,,and its not that its wrong to call someone what they are but it somtimes makes a boundry that no matter how hard u try is difficult to cross.

we all have a thing which we name as “heart”,and it doesnt know good or bad,,,,,it just know tht u need someone or not…and when it says tht u need someone in ur life,that what i call a true relationship…
the bond between a mother and her child can never be explained,but as its said the beauty is in the eye of the beholder,the more better u could perceive,the more beauty u could see/feel in that…:)

and now the most important phase,as we term it of our childhood and teenage life,,,,,,,,,,,,,””frnds”””
we make many frnds,,,,,,metro frnd,feeder frnd colny frnd,institute frds,college grp,vella grp but in midst of those there are some mental people whome our heart says”” dont go apart as u r now my part”””…..

somtimes we do get ourself wrong in understanding what is it???
is it just a phase frnd.just the care i have,is it love,???? and den after deciding one thing we proceed and start behaving in that way….and it happens as before feeling or living it,we want to name it.
isnt it wrong????

why are we trying to spoil the feel by naming it???

like every other person i also have done it many a times……..and ya it has affects u very much………and somtimes it  even  spoiles the most beautiful relation of your life…

dont do that,!!!
dont let it spoil your relation……..
just live with it ,feel it,love it and everything would feel so out of this world that you would thing,was it neccessary to name it ……..:)

the essence of having a relation cannot be compared with anything.even a billionare when alone seeks for momentary pleasures as may be he has loads of money but not a single penny which cud buy him a true person………….

so value the relations in your life,,dnt use name, dnt say unwanted things ,just be we that person and let heart do the talking,,,,as when heart talks, and the other heart could hear i too,it wont need a name too address…….

live it,feel it,love it,as they are there to make ur life beautiful………..:D:D

obesity

Hey you FAT ASS give me some space, I need to sit!!!!

And with my eyes playing HIDE AND SEEK,

And the heart feeling so weak,

I shifted inside,

With a sense of having lost my pride.

 

Hey fatty how are you???

Hey is it a Chest or a Brest??

Would you like to have something??oh I m sorry, I meant “”EVERYTHING””….. And then a huge laugh which could even suppress my wail…

 

14 years have gone past with these questions or I should rather say something that just breaks me and leaves me with a sigh.

 

In this society where first impression is the last impression, a person’s dress is more welcomed than his soul. No matter how good a person is, if you are fat, means you have given everybody an open invitation to come and make Mickey out of you.

 

Have you ever laughed at a person, just because his fat???

Don’t lie >!!Everybody knows that everybody does that>!

 

But how would you feel if someone laughs at you because you have failed miserably, or because you have been fooled by someone, or because you have problems in bed or just because you are dumb????

 Ohhh ya, everybody doesn’t knows that??But what if they will??

Its your problem, not a joke on which everybody could have a laugh. The same way, being fat is not always a choice (sometimes may be), and just because there problem is visible, doesn’t mean it’s a joke.

As you don’t know, how bad a person could feel……..

 

 

 

I still remember those embarrassments in class, in morning assembly, while taking dress and your size isn’t available, when you sit and your dress gets torn apart, and along with those just ignoring those laughs which I knew were meant for me.

 

 

 

Initially I tried to accept the way it is, but later I learned,

“Acceptance was never an option””

You have to fight to make things right or in this game of life you would never get a chance to seek, and all u could do then is” hide”.

Where there is will, there is a way, and I did find my way…and as its said “AGAR KISSI CHIJ KO DILLO JAN SE CHAHO TO PURI KAYNAT TUMHE USE MILWANE ME LAG JATI HAI”” in an Indian movie, it did happen.

 

 

I did lose my weight, gained that part of mine which was hiding, but I also gained something else.

Eyes were hiding again, and lips were zipped again, but this time I was not on the receiving end.

Someone said to me that its your new life, but I think its better than that. As I have experienced both sides of the coin, in the same life. And it helped me.

 

So all fat people out there, don’t feel bad, and just pull every bad word recieved,every tear u have shed,rejecton (if any) and start today with full DEDICATION,not for those who don’t care,but for yourself.

 

As when that old jeans which was once tight slides down, the smile you have is priceless.

And after you are done you won’t have a just physical change, but an altogether makeover of your soul.

 

And to all those who just like making fun, just think once…

If your smile could make someone cry,

And makes his life a question,

Not HOW but WHY,

Would “that smile” feel happy?????????